The CAPRICORN Man

"Don't keep him waiting, child! Why, his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute! And don't twiddle your fingers all the time ... Better say nothing at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!"

He has a self-made brick wall around him. He's shy, but he's strong and tough. He's pleasant, but he's fiercely ambitious. Like the legendary, silent, earthy cowboy, the Capricorn man seems to prefer to be alone. He doesn't. Not really.

Secretly, Capricorn yearns for adulation. He'd love to thrill the crowd on a flying trapeze. In his private dreams, the goat is an incurable romantic, but Saturn chains his nature. The stern planet of discipline demands of him calm behavior, practical actions and serious intent. This is his cross, and it's often a heavy one to bear. Sometimes he'll cover his frustration with a brusque manner-and sometimes he'll startle you with unexpected and incon­gruous humor, although it will always be the ironic tongue-in-cheek variety. But that's often the funniest kind, and Capricoms can be quite a gas when they're wry and dry and juggling the jokes.

Turn a steady, dependable Capricorn male inside out, and you'll find a merry, gentle dreamer who longs for the free wind to blow through his hair and finds the sweet fragrance of compliments intoxicating-who hungers for excitement and thirsts for adventure. Only a chosen few can release this lonely soul from his secret prison.

Sun signs can be wonderfully helpful if you're inclined to judge a book by its jacket. Here you were thinking that Capricorn fellow would make a great school teacher but a miserable lover. You'd just about decided he'd rather be president than be yours. He impressed you as a man who would rather see his name written in the social register than in your diary. Now you discover that he has a heart as warm and friendly as a cozy wood fire on a winter night. I know it's exhilarating, but wait just a moment before yod dash off to give him a big bear hug and expect him to -fly you to the moon. Those surprises I just described are part of his inner nature. He'll be thrilled and impressed if you guess, but inner nature means just that-inner nature. Chances are he'll never let all those gauzy dreams of care­less rapture escape and run around loose. Just so you know they're inside him. That's enough. Don't go expecting your Capricorn to dash barefoot through the buttercups. You can't change his basic. Saturnine personality.

What you can do, however, is laugh at his shaggy dog stories until he feels brave enough to tell more sophisti­cated tales. You can hint that you think there are banked fires beneath his conservative manner until he has the confidence to let a flame or two leap out. You can tell him you find his kind of dreams more colorful, because no dream is as bright as the one that really happens, so hell be encouraged to weave more of them. Someday, he will reach the top of his special mountain, and you'll be right there beside him, mighty proud of your determined goat-and mighty glad you believed in his practical dreams.

Capricorns pretend they can live without compliments, and the way they behave when they get one is pretty con­vincing proof. Did you ever say something nice to your Capricorn man and see it fall as flat as the expression on his face? Don't be hasty. Just because the goat is such an expert at fooling himself doesn't mean you have to be fooled, too. Actually, he desperately needs to be told he is good, clever, handsome, desirable and interesting, but since he'll seldom make his need visible, he gets few orchids. Consequently, he may be a little rusty, and won't know quite what to do when someone openly admires him, so he covers his embarrassment by making a wry joke or ignoring it, a reaction which can freeze people into de­ciding never to risk flattering that poker face again. The impression is created that he hates compliments, so he gets even fewer. It's a vicious circle. Maybe it's your fault more than his. Next time you give your Capricorn a verbal bouquet, look at his ears. See how pink they are? See that faint twinkle in his eye and how his nose twitches ever so slightly? He's as pleased as Sunday punch. Just because he doesn't dance a jig or roll in the grass like Leo, the lion, doesn't mean he hasn't been made deeply happy and ten feet taller. He needs to be seen as the truly great guy he is. Nature and the stars keep him from advertising. You'll have to be his press agent.

This man is what horticulturists would call a late bloom­er. He's as serious as an owl in his youth, but he'll relax gradually as he matures, and if he's a typical Capricorn, he may end up as the youngest looking and acting man in the group. Now, that's a point well worth considering. With other men, you have to tolerate flighty foolishness for years and then look forward to a stuffy old age. With a Capricorn, you may have your enthusiasms smothered a bit at first, but just think what you have to look forward to! Your Capricorn lover won't run off to Paris with you in the spring of your romance, but he may take you to see the Taj Mahal by moonlight forty or fifty years later, when other men are complaining of creaking joints. It's not a bad switch. If you're the kind who likes to stuff your­self first with rich appetizers, and then dutifully have your vegetables, he's not for you. A love affair with a Capricorn man, provided it ends in marriage, is like having dessert last, where it belongs.

Naturally; the Capricorn reverse aging process may sug­gest to you that there's a catch in the faithfulness depart­ment. There is. It's true that youll have few worries about your goat straying when romance is young and dewy. It's also true that he may kick up his heels a little as he grows older. Still, with all that, he's a safer bet for fidelity than most other Sun signs, because the Capricorn man practical­ly bums incense at the family altar. Whatever minor indis­cretions he may contemplate when his late blooming begins, they'll never replace the home fires, the children and you. He's almost reverent about "family ties. That includes the family he's created with you and his own family, which has been the object of his devotion since childhood.

It wouldn't do to insult his mother or be cool to his brother. Be prepared to love your in-laws, even if they're about as lovable as prickly cactus. Not only will he defend them, but also if you allow disputes to get sticky, the strain of choosing between loyalties to two families can make him morose and gloomy. (If there's anything in this t world you don't want to do, it's make a Capricorn morose | and gloomy.)

You may bump into a Capricorn who has open con-| tempt for his relatives, or who has bitterly cut family ties | and never looked back-but scratch the surface of his in-| dependence and you'll find a deep, emotional wound in his | past that originally caused such untypical behavior. Many | Capricorn men live at home long past the age when their j friends are out enjoying the delights of a bachelor pad. j They usually fall in love later than most men too-and | they seldom marry before they're settled in a career.

With an eye for pedigree and perfection, they'll look | around pretty carefully. The goat will pick a girl who will be a good mother. Then she'll have to be a good cook and ' housekeeper. After that, she'll have to dress well to impress his business associates and friends, and preferably be a cut i above them in background, manners, breeding and intelli-J gence. Last of all, he'll make a quick check to see if she's I beautiful or if she appeals to his physical senses. You can | see right away it's no big deal if your hair is droopy, your l perfume bottle is empty or your legs aren't the kind to ^; make the current Miss Universe hate you. Just dig into the trunk for those D.A.R. papers and show him the family

Wedgwood. Take his mother to lunch once a week, and let him see how practical you are with your budget. Invite your four-year-old sister along on your next date. If you're an only child, rent a neighbor's toddler. Wipe her little nose gently and frequently with a proper linen handker­chief, talk about your desire to be on the mayor's com­mittee for civic improvement, walk sedately, drop a few French phrases and gurgle when you see a baby in a buggy. Be sure to respect his father as the wisest gentleman you've ever met, and make casual references to your great uncle, who helped Carnegie build his empire-or your an­cestor who fought by George Washington's side in the snows of Valley Forge (it doesn't matter which). If you're pretty, so much the better. But glamor will never replace that afghan you made for his cousin Bessie. I can almost promise that he'll never marry you if you don't pass in­spection with his family. There are exceptions, of course, but they're so rare you'd be downright reckless to gamble that your Capricorn man is one of them.

After his family has proposed-or rather after he has proposed-put your foot down. Firmly. Let him know you love his folks dearly, but he's the one whose bed and board you've chosen to share. Otherwise, you'll spend many a Saturday night cooking dinner for his Uncle Charlie or helping his young sister through her painful adolescence.

Since Capricoms are always slightly nervous in the presence of the opposite sex, an occasional one will awkwardly hint at off-color situations, fumble with attempts at innuendo, or appear to be rough, tough and callous. It's just his way of being one of the fellows, a typical method of hiding his embarrassment and curiosity about the purple passions of more aggressive people. Don't ever let it lead you into thinking he wants you to play Bonnie to his Clyde. You are not Mae West or Texas Guinan. You are a lady and don't ever forget it. He may cast a furtive, interested glance at a lady of the evening, but she's definitely not the kind of lady he marries. This may sound like advice from your spinster Aunt Abigail, but if you think it's square, go on and wear your teeny bikini and green mascara- pour on the perfume and kiss him in public. You may eventually walk down the aisle in a white veil, but it wont be beside a Saturn groom.

A nice gift for your Capricorn husband would be a book of poems, the more romantic the better. If you don't train him early in the art of affectionate expression, you may become a well-provided-for wife who's adored and warmly appreciated-with a perfect dear for a husband-but who is also emotionally starved. It won't do any good by that time to complain that he never tells you he loves you. He'll just look at you in injured innocence or grumbling disgust (depending on how strong Saturn was at his birth), and patiently explain that "You're crazy. I distinctly remember telling you I loved you when I gave you your engagement ring and again when little Calvert was born."

He thinks you should know how he feels about you since be supports you, and pays you the tribute of allowing you to bear his children, sweep his floors and polish his trophies. To Capricorn, mushy, verbal declarations are gilding the romantic lily. He may ask, "What do you want, Richard Burton?" That's your cue to say "yes" loudly. It should startle him a little. He won't turn into Richard Burton, but he may be shocked into realizing that a gently murmured "sweetheart" at appropriate times won't harm his mas­culinity.

As a father, hell be a Father-the literal personification of the word. He'll always be at the head of the table, and that goes for picnics, too. Even if he's the one sitting on the poison ivy, near the ant hill, around the paper cloth spread under the trees-the spot where the Capricorn daddy sits is the head of the table. He'll demand respect and obedience, and hell insist on routine and discipline. But he'll repay it with honest devotion, even self sacrifice, probably approve of big, happy birthday parties and a very merry Christmas. Capricorn fathers are highly un­likely to spare the rod and spoil the child. He'll see that they go to the dentist and do their homework, with a few trips to the old woodshed when it's necessary. His own sense of organization and dependability will be emphatically conveyed. It certainly won't hurt the youngsters, though it might take a little starch out of them. Remind him that parenthood can be fun, as well as a serious responsibility. Think of him as a Charles Dickens type papa. Teach the children to give him generous goodnight kisses, and en­courage him to take them to the ball game, fishing or swim­ming. If he's a little strict, remember that they'll profit in the long run, as long as he doesn't overdo it. When the grandchildren bounce on his knee, he'll turn shockingly permissive. Capricorn grandpas make great baby sitters.

I even know one who roller skates around the block with his second generation offspring.

A Capricorn man will seldom marry in haste and repent at leisure. He's more apt to marry at leisure and repent in haste. Most Capricorn marriages are solid, but if the goat makes a mistake, he'll walk out abruptly, and his wife won't get a second chance. Capricorn abhors divorce, so it won't happen often, but when it does, it's final. To be blunt, when he's had it-he has had it.

Your Saturnine husband may regulate love-making to a schedule, along with shopping, correspondence, doing his banking, visiting museums or art galleries and cleaning his gun and trophy collection. It may seem cold and unsenti­mental, but remember that the practical Capricorn is interested in the physical side of love long after other hus­bands resort to poetry to express their emotions. Inter­preted, that means just what I said back at the beginning. Dessert last. After he's retired, he'll have more time to develop his technique of affection. That's better than in­surance. And you'll have that too, with a Capricorn hus­band-insurance against a rainy day, insurance against loneliness and insurance against the blows of a sordid, ugly world. Any sensible female appreciates the value of Saturn devotion. He won't be a fiery lover who courts you with starry eyes and passionate, flowery speeches. But he'll pro­tect you from all your feminine fears. He's a tough guy with a gentle heart. He'll chop the wood for that cozy fire, then sit with you in front of it and hold your hand tenderly. No matter how many gray hairs, extra pounds or wrinkles you add as the years slip by, to him you'll always look like the girl who made him say "I love you." When you stop to think about it, why should he say it again and again? Once is enough when it lasts that long.